my partner has dyspraxia a little advice?

[lou0106]

I have been with my boyfriend 8 months now and am aware that he has dyspraxia, however despite me asking he isnt completely comfortable talking about it and I can find very little information that I find useful :/
I know from what we have discussed that he has more issues with balance and co-ordination as he is also very tall, but even though he is very close to me sometimes he does also have trouble a fair amount with the emotional side of things as well, he does tend to get distracted a lot and does find it hard to communicate with me, especially finding the right words to use which he then ends up getting frustrated with himself Id just like to know how to help, Im a good listener and very patient and he appreciates that a lot but id like to help more in any way I can by just understanding as I know these things had a big impact in his previous relationship and I think thats why he is shutting me out a bit. Please any advise would be fantastic!

[Tom fod]

Hi Lou

Thanks for posting in this forum I think many of us Dyspraxic males are quite reticent about it and our difficulties are all too often counter to our idea of how society and others expect us to be as guys. Equally it’s very to explain our difficulties especially on one of our bad days and they are very difficult to define without feeling like you're going crazy or having people judge you.

Reassure him about why you chose him and what you like about him. Be encouraging and open but don’t expect him to want to talk about it but do make it clear you’re always ready to listen and/or talk about things should he want to and you really don’t think any less of him.

Do tell him about these forums. He’s a lucky guy.

All the best to you both,

[minniemoo]

I know I'm a girl - but thought I would add my thoughts anyway

First, he is incredibly lucky, as Tom says, that you are willing to find out more about it and not to judge him for it.

Second, my advice would be not to make it into an issue. So don't ask if certain things he does/can't do etc are part of the dyspraxia - just see it and treat it as part of him. His quirks - no more odd than someone preferring coffee to tea. Try not to see it as him dyspraxic, just him being him. It may be that he doesn't see certain things as requiring talking about - a lot of men are like this - dyspraxic or not! He may just want to be accepted for who he is without having to explain why and how all the time.

You say you are patient and a good listener, again these are wonderful traits and he is extremely lucky. But remember to listen to the stuff he isn't saying, the messages he sends from his behaviour - maybe he always puts something back in a certain place, in a certain way - don't question it, just accept it and go with it.

[paulo]

Hi im a 30 year old guy and always had trouble wiht relashonship (possible due to my dyspraxia/dyslexia), however ive had great results from studying and performing yoga and martail arts as they teach coordination, patence etc and can also boost confidence. also try not to make a big iossue out of it (us dysprasic lot tend to blame every little problem on our condition to avoid dealing wiht ourselves ).
best of luck

[mucio]

Hi, i also have dypraxia and not ashamed of my condition. All it takes is positive thinking and regular Yoga classes.
Above all believing in yourself.

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[Moder_20]

Damn i read it all thanks for sharing i think it will help alot of ppl