Arrogance? (on my part)

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

Moderator: Moderator Team

Post Reply
ArcticRose
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:33 pm

Arrogance? (on my part)

Post by ArcticRose »

Hi, I am a foreigner living in England so i am not sure whether this particular problem is because of dyspraxia or culture.

Background:
My family (mother's side at least) are rather humble and we/they are not impressed by flashy cars or elaborate houses. Christmas gifts are small and cheap but also often homemade, personalised and thoughtful. I love that. However often this also includes personal accomplishments, you are not allowed to brag, this often means mentioning or talking about your personal accomplishments. Fine with me, it does create a rather relaxing and equal relationships most of the time.

However my problem is that I have noticed that they are not happy when I join a conversation and lets say contribute to the debate at hand. I have never considered myself as especially intelligent but I recently found out that I was always considered to be the brainy child (I always thought my cousins were a lot smarter :-s ).

Sometimes people get uncomfortable and suggest something or a close family member might tell me that I am coming off as arrogant or a bit of a know it all. This was more common when I was a child people were uncomfortable when a 11 year old wanted to debate politics with them :rolleyes:

But the bottom line is that I think it might be a bit of my dyspraxia that I don't sense when people think I have gone too far, I can talk incessantly and sometimes loudly and afterwards I am embarrassed. However lately I think people have started to misinterpret what I say for arrogance or bragging when I am simply talking about something that interests me. This was particularly obvious when I had to explain what my undergraduate course was but in my defence when I said I was studying Politics and International Relations they said "I didn't know there was anything that you could study about that." Its a loose translation but they basically implied that all there is to Politics and IR as an academic subject is to observe what politicians do by watching the news :rolleyes: .

It causes friction and usually feels like I am thinking on a different wavelength from the rest of humanity. I hate that I feel like I have to hold back when speaking to my family. I hate self-censoring. Is it arrogance on my part? do you guys get frustrated or annoyed when speaking to people who demonstrate a lot of knowledge. Or is it perhaps not what I say but how I say it?
kira
Getting settled in
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:20 pm

Re: Arrogance? (on my part)

Post by kira »

i do this quite oftern it can be a dyspraxic trait but it could be other things aswell my sister who does not have dyspraxia is the most arrogent person i know everyone thinks so and she really has no idea that she's like it.
toxic_ange
Getting settled in
Posts: 15
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:41 am

Re: Arrogance? (on my part)

Post by toxic_ange »

I get that too. Don't worry it's not you it is them.

Basically when dyspraxics get excited about something they channel their inner aspergic traits, loudness, incessant talking and not letting a subject they like go. It get interpreted as arrogance, mostly because people don't like to be told they are wrong.

It's a case of trying to keep calm, and not getting over excited.
"we are all the same under the skin, and I for one would skin the world to prove it" - Ayn Rand
Jim
Super poster
Posts: 710
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:01 pm

Re: Arrogance? (on my part)

Post by Jim »

From my point of view on a subject which I don't know much about or don't understand I'm going to be shy and reserved. But when I know something I tend to know it well and will have confidence in what I say about it to the extent that I'll contradict someone who I know has got inaccurate information or is not understanding.

And toxic_ange is spot on. People do not like being told they are wrong, especially when they are wrong. Indeed people seem to think that it isn"t knowledge, logic and understanding that wins a debate.. But talking the loudest and the most to he extent that the other person can't get an word in edgeways.
“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore” :whistle:
joy
Power poster
Posts: 180
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:44 pm

Re: Arrogance? (on my part)

Post by joy »

I too can be quite forceful when its something I know about and someone is saying different which may be misconstrued as arrogance,I can also be quite shy and reserved especially when in larger numbers so I would say it would depend on the circumstances but I can be quite opinionated .My son is the opposite he is quite quiet and more timid,but I would say that comes with life experience and you learn not to be so gull-able as you get older and have to stick up for your rights.We both have Dyspraxia.
Post Reply