Dyspraxia and sexuality

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

Moderator: Moderator Team

Jim
Super poster
Posts: 710
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:01 pm

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by Jim »

I'm quite glad to "think outside of the box" especially when the box contains so much bullshit :whistle:
“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore” :whistle:
Captain_Ludd
Power poster
Posts: 346
Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:38 am
Location: Birmingham

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by Captain_Ludd »

Jim wrote:'m quite glad to "think outside of the box" especially when the box contains so much bullshit :whistle:
Amen to that :D .
jimmy87notts
Getting settled in
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:39 am
Location: Mablethorpe, Lincolnshire

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by jimmy87notts »

Im Dyspraxic and gay i also know of another lad who is also dyspraxic and gay aswell, could be a coincidence who knows.
lauraECFan
Power poster
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:02 am

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by lauraECFan »

Dyspraxia shouldn't affect your sexuality you just happen to like both men and women. I have a friend who is bi though he prefers women to men. Hope you find the right person soon be it man or woman :hug:
Animal lover forever
Bookworm forever
Live for today :)
if you have a dream chase it catch it and never let go of it
doubleheman
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 1:16 am

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by doubleheman »

Are straight guys generaly more effeminate as mentioned before?
I'm a straight guy and have had two girlfriends but the ammount of times gay guys have said to me or asked me if I'm gay and if I wanted to get with them. Ugh :/ I'm thankful i'm good looking though.
JVJ24601
Getting settled in
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 1:12 pm

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by JVJ24601 »

Well, I'm dyspraxic and I don't think I have a single gay bone in my body. I did seem to notice when I was doing a course in sign language that half of the deaf community appeared to be gay or bisexual. I do wonder if some people turn this way in desperation for affection in a society where it is difficult to have a relationship with normal people who don't have disabilities or other problems. Unfortunately, I would rather be single. I do envy you for the fact that your sexual orientation gives you opportunities I don't really have though.
paulo
Getting settled in
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:45 am

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by paulo »

helllo. all i see this is an old topic, but just wanted to say that the original post reflected my own life like a mirror, i entered dyspraxia sexuality into google and thats the first thing it came up with, and i was releived to see that someone else "gets it" exactly .
in my experience i was always crap at sports as a child which gave me quite a low self estem in the masculinity/ testoterone department (a hormone associated with winning), then as i grew up i felt i was attrated to men and women but due to societies pressures repreesed my feelings to one over the other which then grew in strength and caused an imbalance and ALOT of confusion. however that confusion is now disapating as i pass the ripe age of thirty (patience is KEY)
i could go on but you get the picture
my advice to anyone with a similar confusion is this dyspraxia donsnt cause you to be gay or stright but does induce a feeling of angroginaity (forgive spelling) and societies pressure for you to choose one thing over another can cause an unnessasary imbalance
i have had great results doing yoga and martail arts regulary for 7 years that has made me more coordinated, pateint and better at sports and the entire process has given me a huge insight into the human mind.

If your dypraxic / dyslexic congratualtion cause you have a unique gift =D> =D>
paulo
Getting settled in
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:45 am

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by paulo »

P.S thanks Nick youve made me feel much better about myself :banana:
MyDyspraxicBF
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:45 pm

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by MyDyspraxicBF »

My BF who is Dyspraxic is frequentley read as Gay or Bi by people , including some gay men who ran the local pub. . . For a long time I did wonder myself if he was in the closet or bi.....I know now that he is straight.....Because he doesnt act in an over - aggressive "manly man" way , people tend to assume "gay".

I was guilty of wondering it myself because of some OCD like quirks he has around sex....But now he has explained all about the dyspraxia to me , i "get it" ...He is also a lot more touchy feely / intimate with me now he is comfortable with me. When we were first intimate ( a long time ago) there were a lot of "No-go" 's for him which i put down to "he must be in the closet" . He is improving all the time ( In getting over his issues) , I just wish he had opened up to me sooner about the Dyspraxia!
MyDyspraxicBF
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:45 pm

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by MyDyspraxicBF »

It was a "big piece of gossip" in this small area when the locals found out he had slept with me , as they were shocked .....They all assumed him to be gay as he was never seen "out on the pull" , or with a GF.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by Tom fod »

MyDyspraxicBF wrote:It was a "big piece of gossip" in this small area when the locals found out he had slept with me , as they were shocked .....They all assumed him to be gay as he was never seen "out on the pull" , or with a GF.
Why should we have to conform to other peoples ideas about how we should behave.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
shisu
Getting settled in
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:37 am

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by shisu »

lol at the irony, on one 'hand' men with higher testosterone are more likely to be gay but then dyspraxic males are more likely gay, then on the other hand there is a link between ring to index finger length ratio and testosterone and you guessed it dyspraxic males are more likely to have lower testosterone level, work that out.. i.e there is no link some people are gay some are straight, there is no link!!!.

I am straight but have no issue with gay people, I don't like bi-sexuals though.. make your f**king mind up :lol:
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by Tom fod »

Point well made on absurdity of the finger length thread.

I'm sure you can accept that some people keep their options very open and don't differentiate between the sexes .Everyone has thieir own way of thinking and as long as they take care not to force that view (or themselves) on others it shouldn't matter.

Whilst you've asterisked it we'd prefer you not to drop the F Bomb
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Mark_KCL
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:45 pm

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by Mark_KCL »

AlleyCat wrote:I've definitely read somewhere that the percentage of people with 'neuro-diverse' conditions such as dyslexia, dyspraxia and ADHD is higher amongst the gay community than amongst the general population. I also think that perhaps people who are 'different' because of conditions such as dyspraxia are more likely to be accepted for who they are amongst the gay community- this might be because a lot of people who are gay know what it's like to fight to be accepted. I have a friend who's gay and regards himself as dyslexic (although he's never been formally diagnosed)- his partner also shows strong symptoms of having dyslexia. My friend has a very strong relationship with his partner, which I'm sure would provide a stable foundation in which to bring up children if they one day choose to have any. Only you know what sort of relationship you'd be happiest in, but don't rule out the possiblity of having children if you do decide that you would prefer to be in a relationship with a man rather than a woman.

Thanks Ally cat! As a gay man with dyspraxia I think that was a totally brilliant answer!

Getting back to the poster's issues. I realise how much dyspraxia can impact on confidence, for me it impacts more on worrying about being able to fit into groups, especially into th profession that I want to pursue. I tend to have impulse control issues and the usual dyspraxia stuff can cause a lot of stress to build up and I'm always worried about slipping up and loosing my cool with the wrong person. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I personall y found therapy a good way to deal with these things. Although your dysprxai may be at the root of your anxieties over your masculinity, it is just part of yourself that isn't going to change. So the only thing you can change is your reaction to it. As a person who got diagnosed later in life you probably, like me, had ot get used to many things about being dyspraxix? But i expect soem of this was quite good. Like, I found that knowing that i can get stressed and rushed when I'm lae helped me to slow down and give myself time for my needs and not care about being late if I had to be. Maybe working on cognaive behaviour therapy coudl help you sort out what you are worried about , and then think through all those worries to see if they are really tings you want to worry about. Persoanly I foudn having such therapy very helpful....it's just a suggestion. I certainly don't want to say to that all dyspracic need therapy, or all gays. But lets face it, growing gay/bi and with SpLD can make life tough...soemtimes having a place to work through negative ideas about oursleves can eall help! )Hahah sorry about all the typose!)
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Dyspraxia and sexuality

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Mark and welcome

Don't worry about your alternative spellings I'm sure most will be able to interpret the very valid points you've made

I too found CBT helpful as I do have a tendency to do stuff in a rush, worry and over analyse mistakes etc. This was before I learned about my dyspraxia and found this community.

Glad you've found us
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Post Reply