Attracting the wrong kind of people?

[raisin girl]

I'm in my late 20s, and was diagnosed with dyspraxia/dyscalculia in my second year of undergrad. I've had depressive tendencies since the age of 8 or 9, largely, I think, as a consequence of my dyspraxia and a lack of recognition or support. I survived the social minefield of school and, despite my depression worsening during my late-teens/early 20s, went on to make really wonderful friends at university and during my adult life. However, romantic relationships are a far dodgier area. I've never had a proper, lasting relationship, and have found that the people I attract tend to fall into the following unhealthy categories:

1) 'Desperate-and-lonely's People who come on to me intensely when we've barely spoken, turn up unannounced, send expensive gifts/tell other guests at a party we've 'really connected'/talk about us going on holiday together when I've barely expressed an interest in them, and generally see a profound connection where there isn't one because they're so desperate or so unused to company they can't distinguish between polite smalltalk and genuine mutual chemistry

2) Platonic 'carers' who are a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear and may make flirty/relationship-type gestures but don't want to get physical and/or commit to any kind of relationship with me. One I used to know had a collection of female friends/exes with various types of emotional problem, but would push them away when they got too close/too demanding, and never wanted to examine his own issues

3) Attached/married people who empathise with me in some respect and feel unhappy in their current relationship, but are either too scared, too proud or too lazy to end it, and just want someone they can fall back on whenever they've had a big bust-up with Her Indoors

Just wondering if anyone else had had similar experiences and if so, whether/how you managed to turn things around for the better? From speaking to others with similar difficulties, it seems I'm not the only one, and that women are sometimes particularly susceptible to this sort of thing.

[cazzzzy]

hi,
i totally agree with you !!!,relationships are such a mindfield,sometimes i think being single is the best way to be ,but it could be nice having a partner but as you say you meet these people who dont know what they want or cling on to you which i find really uncomfortable or is it us ? are we taking things the wrong way ? do we rally want a relationship ?
i have these mixed feelings about relationships...but in general i agree with you

caz