How do I attract women if I have a hidden disability?

[Thom Andersson]

A lot of girls go for independent/controlling guys because they don't need empathy but a lot of girls go for guys who do need empathy and are not so brilliant at doing some things for the girls. But what if the guy has a need for empathy but it doesn't really show until they really start dating.A hidden disability like dyspraxia. It attracts girls because they look normal but put them off after they get to know them but doesn't attract empathetic girls because they look like your "average", "run of the mill"kind of guy!

[Tom fod]

its a conundrum and a trap I fall a lot into myself. I know lots of girls as friends and I'm told I'm good company. However I cannot believe/seem to find anyone likes me in the sense of wanting to be in a relationship with me.

Think the low self esteem and lack of confidence is the root cause and I wish I could change that.

Am I too demanding? Are girls unwilling to ever give guys like me a chance? Should I grow a backbone? I can't be a bastard it's just not me.


Think the only thing we can do is put ourselves out there and enjoy being who we are and someone will come along.

Here's hoping

Tom

[Tim G]

Think the only thing we can do is put ourselves out there and enjoy being who we are and someone will come along.

That's true and fortunalty happend with me, unforanlty I have found that later it dosent work out as we tend to mess up the simpleast of things which a lot of people without dyspraxicia wont understand why that happoned and then wont give you a second chance - that has haponed in previous relationships.

I think that if / when you find somone who can be with you for who you and understands you then thats worth everything and don't let it go.

[Tom fod]

That's true and fortunalty happend with me, unforanlty I have found that later it dosent work out as we tend to mess up the simpleast of things which a lot of people without dyspraxicia wont understand why that happoned and then wont give you a second chance - that has haponed in previous relationships.

I think that if / when you find somone who can be with you for who you and understands you then thats worth everything and don't let it go.

Thats the other hurdle: being confident that we have been accepted by someone and not worrying about always getting things right which can be too much for the other person.

[Vica]

I've been wondering about this issue lately. Speaking from having experienced both sides of the 'person not being what they seemed initially' thing, I'd say what helps in all relationship is just honesty and being who you are. If doing so means almost all people you are interested in romantically don't want to be with you, well they weren't right for you. Not rushing madly into things (been there, done that ) helps the honesty to have a chance to get a word in and so people don't take you at face value but learn who you really are.

Eventually, someone will come along who just clicks with you and who you can be yourself around. There's someone for everyone, I really believe that, however I have been burned and have vowed to be single unless it's really right, as opposed to on-the-surface right. Just some thoughts!

[Tom fod]

very true. Think society's ideas of what's right are an unnecessary pressure on us all. plus we tend to worry bout every little thing at times!

[cazzzzy]

im a woman & i feel the same regarding men !!! i just mess up all the time....but i suppose if you meet the right person you will just click....we have to try and think positive as we can

[Tim G]

what helps in all relationship is just honesty and being who you are. If doing so means almost all people you are interested in romantically don't want to be with you, well they weren't right for you.

Thats verry true - you have to be honist and its good to give it a go but if it dosent work then thats just the way it is. We can't chnage who we are but there is a chance that you will find somone who is willing to see through the mess and be with you through all the issues which are present.

Keep it hidden, tell her to not tell anyone , she'll think your so amazing putting on a brave face etc etc

That really isent the way to go about it - be open and honist about it and how it affects you. - Don't be fake or try to hide it as its not good for yourself and at the end of the day if your serious about being in a relationship you have to take the person for who they really are, not somone who is hideing all there issues and trying to be fine about it.