Anger, emotional problems with ones you love (friends and re

[ghostrider1979]

Hi anyone have problems with anger/emotional outbursts?

In the last year i have had many fallings out with the group of friends i usually hang out with. Usually it comes from frustration of the feeling of not being heard or the feeling of not being wanted. I always feel like i'm on the outside looking in and find it hard to relate to conversations and social gatherings in a large group. One occasion last NYE was when a friend of mine wouldnt tell where she was going that night, almost like she was hiding from me where she was going, this made me feel very unwanted and low - there was another friend of mine with her that night so i tried to see where she would be. In the end me and a male friend met up with them, but when i got there as soon as they saw me i got the inpression that i wasnnt wanted - they both gave my male friend a massive hug and wished him happy new year but not me. I felt destroyed what had i done wrong for this to happen. I lost it stormed outside saying that they obviously didnt want me there, cried my eyes out - when one of them came over to me to try and calm me down and explain i didnt listen or want to know i was so upset it was like i couldnt control it.

One particular female friend i care very much for, she has been through a hell of a lot with bad ex boyfriends and various family problems i have always tried to be there for her and give advice when i can. She has recently just split from a boyfriend of about six months after another bad relationship, on night out she showed me a text message from another previous ex boyfriend who she had told me had treated her very badly - the text was something about meeting up to stay over (casual sex) and again i lost it, i was so angry upset with her - why would she want to go back with this man? After all the crap she had been through with him and the way he had treated her why?

I was so worried that she would get hurt again, its all i could think about - was like a red mist came down on me. I screamed at her that she would just get hurt again and why would she think about doing this? I told her he would destroy her and didnt want her to go through that again.

She obviously was very upset, she couldnt believe i had reacted in this way and said "why couldnt i just let her make her own decisions'? She tried to explain she was thinking of doing it to "make herself feel wanted again, to just feel like a woman for one night" Where she said this it just made me worse, i thought she wasnt listening to me, if she was she would see it was a bad idea and not do it. I again shouted at her that i thought it was a massive mistake.

Another friend came over, asked why i was upsetting her. He knew about the ex boyfriend in question so i told him - i look on his face i knew he agreed with me but he said that it was upto her to make her own choices and that i should apologise. At this point my female friend walked off upset, i tried to follow her as i still wanted to talk to her.

The make friend came charging at me, face like thunder telling me to leave her alone and to stop it. For some reason i was now so angry with him aswell that he couldnt see i was infact trying to help her i screamed at him too. Called him a bunch of names was really nasty. But all this time it was like my mind and body was not in my control i was so upset i had no control over my emotions.

They know i have dyspraxia but dont understand much about it.

Does anyone else have problems with emotional control??

[ghostrider1979]

It seems like the closer someone is to me and the more i care about them the more upset i get if i think they have not listened or acted like i'm not wanted - I dont ever intend to upset anyone. I just care so much, i get so emotional i cant control my actions.

Afterwards I feel ashamed of my actions, upset guilty. Unable to think, act or do anything else for days.

they know i dont mean what i do, but they dont no longer know how to help. They say it has happened to many times, i've upset too may people.

[cazzzzy]

glad im not the only one !!!! i feel guilty about everything & always seem to annoy folk,with my insecurties and sometimes fly off the hand coz im so frustrated,i feel like my head is going to explode ,so much rage sometimes it scares me....in away its good to see other folk suffer the same,as i dont feel such a bitch,i hate feeling like this ,as i tend to loose people from my life

[Saint_celestine]

im like that, but i think its cos nobody understands me still, i no have no friends at all, i can text and ring them and get no reply.

i wonder if its me thats the problem or weather its them, it does make me feel low even depressed at times

[Tom fod]

I guess in some ways we're very idealistic and can't easily understand why our friends do stupid things and hurt themselves emotionally often time after time and never seem to learn from it.

I think my fear of potentially not being much better myself i.e. having the potential to fall into the same traps is maybe one of the reasons I'm still single.

Sometimes it's really difficult but you have to let the people you care about make their own path, be there for them when it goes wrong but where possible keep yourself at a distance at other times.

I know the being on the outside feeling well with no one seeming to care They often do though. We can all can get wrapped in our own worlds and need reminding that it's our good friends that matter most.The world is a mad place so we need to be there for our friends when it matters and hope that by doing so they'll be there for us. Trying not to be judgemental when we care is a real struggle.

Tom