Independance

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Little Miss Anxious
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Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:32 pm
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Independance

Post by Little Miss Anxious » Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:04 pm

"Hey!
I don't like to think about rape, muder, attacks or kidnap but I know it happens.

I am 24 and like to meet people off dating sites who I like and have spoken to on the site and on my phone from the site but the above dangers can occur.

I want casual sex and and alot of men want a disgreet relationship which means that they don't feel comfortable meeting in public areas but dates have no problem with it.

They would see meeting in public or going on a date as going above casual sex because all they want is sex.

I feel that when I have to inform people about my whereabouts and activties that I am behaving like a child, am not trusted, am not seen as a person who can protect themselves, am giving away my own personal life and personal zone and am not being independant, adventurious or street wise and can't have my own secret like having something I enjoy but keeping it to myself but I do want to be safe and I feel like somebody going with me places makes un independant, non adventurious, can't look after myself, can't defend myself, am weak, can't stand on my own too feet, am not clever, am not strong or a risk taker or open - minded and can't be with myself. I don't feel like I am my own person and are in control of my life.

It is very difficult to explain.

I whish there was very little danger so it wouldn't interfer with me taking risks and being adventurious and open minded and living life to the full, having fun and experiencing joy and excitement and happyness and freedom and at peace.

I got annoyed when my male friend aske me "who is it you are meeting and asked me to be careful when he gave me a lift to meet a male friend from college.

To think about the dangerious in life depresses me and interes with me feeling enjoyment, that is why I don't want to focus or think about it because it so terrible and am trying to enjoy life but I know it happens. I whish people would see the positive side of things which can be percieved as dangerious for example meeting somebody from online in public in town where there are lots of people. What if nothing bad happened but you didn't take the chance and you would have really enjoyed yourself but were having thoughts in your head that he might kill you etc.

I want to tell people that I am meeting somebody in town or going out or going to another town or country and have them not question me, worry and them just say ok have fun or I will see you later, text me if you want a lift, contact me if you want my help with anything and to not hear from my family unless they are sick or they have had an accident or if somebody wasn't looking for me and to mind their own business as well and let me get on with it.

My friend wants me to let him know where I am but I feel like a kid who can't be in my own company and be independant or wise. We are friends with benefits but it really turns me off when he tells me that he is concerned that something may happen me if I get into a car with a man I have been speaking to online or go to his house etc and that really turns me off and makes me not wanna be in his company. I feel that he is needy, a wee bit dependant on me, protective of me, cares an awful alot about me, wants to interfere to perevent any bad experiences. He didn't like me speaking to another man who I just met in a pub when we were hanging out for hourse even though I only spoke to him for 30 minutes - 2 hours or less because I felt like he understood where I was coming from and I was very interested in what he was talking to me about. I like talking to different people and meeting different people.

This guy took my friends seat and sat beside me because there was no one there even though his drink was there and when my friend came back from the loo he complained about that guy seating in his place and me speaking to him when he came back and heard us speaking and that I shouldn't have been talking to that guy in the pub when I was supposed to be hanging out with him and that we might as well not hang out in the pub and I just spoke to a musician one night and he said he doesn't want to go to the pub with me any more with me because I communicate with other guys and am looking at other guys. I always like to speak to people including guys regardless where I am or who I am with.

When my friend gets bored he likes to contact me to see if I would like to hang out and we have hung out often and if I say I have plans he likes to know what they are and asks me who I am meeting if I am meeting somebody and may make comments on them.

My mother says to me it is the not knowing what I am doing that worries her and makes her anxious and stressed.

my family ask me when I am going out or want a lift into town, what I am doing, where I am going and who I am meeting etc. It really gets up my nerves and my sister asks what I am doing etc when she sees me on my laptop on the internet and my younger sister criticies me for chatting to men online etc......

What should I do and how do I make it stop.....

:)



I don't like being
Amy Conway

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