Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

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Icarus
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Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Icarus » Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:23 am

Anyone else do this? I hadn't really noticed it (which is strange, I usually scrutinise my behaviours), but when learning to drive, my mum asked if I would like her to request a female Drivers Education teacher because I connect better with females than males. It was then that I realised that I do, in fact, feel more comfortable around females.

When I was very young, the children in my school would divide themselves at recess and play some sort of tag game. There weren't really any rules or anything done, it was just who you associated with and it was all very make-pretend and such. The "teams" were always divided between the boys and the girls (we called it Boys vs Girls) and I would always join the girl's team. My reasoning then was that boys were more apt to violence so by associating myself with girls, I could avoid trouble (I've always been terrified of reprimand) by avoiding the boys.

Currently, Most of my friends are girls, and when I draw (which I do often) I almost always draw girls. Physically, I find men revolting, more-so than most other guys. When coming into contact with people, I feel I must rub whatever part of me touched someone else. It's like this for the most part, but certain people I don't feel I need to do this (whether I'm friends with them or not seems to have little or no affect on the matter). I tend to be more comfortable touching females.

I do have friends who are male, but they are filed separately in my head than other boys.

Does anyone else notice any similar tendencies?
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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Lady Fluff » Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:51 pm

Most of my closest friends are male, but I think I always put this down to me being gay and not very girly myself, and a reaction to going to an all-girls school, and wanting to get away from that environment (which I hated). I'd never thought about linking it to dyspraxia before!
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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Daniel » Sun Aug 02, 2009 8:25 am

I understand where you're coming from, Icarus. I suspect it may well come from experiences at school which over a long period of time lead to direct relationships in a certain way. I had many years of awful experiences with playing sports at school. Aside from never having any ability in any sporting endeavour, nor indeed interest, I'm not very competitive either. I found this to be very much at odds with that of many other male peers. This in turn led to something of a identity gap emerge and yes, as you say, it often became easier to spend time with females who were generally not so obsessive about sporting endeavour and generally had a kinder, friendlier response.

Over the years though I've built up a core group of male friends. Some are sporting, some are not, but we all have many other areas in common that make for good times when we meet up. The dynamic with female friends changes over years and gets more complicated when you get into relationships but that's a natural process I think.

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by breyah » Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:21 pm

I've had to make a real effort as I've gotten older to get along with other girls.

Growing up I was a complete tomboy, all my friends were boys, I hated girls. When I got to secondary school I had very few friends who were girls as I just couldn't stand them. But I slowly made a couple of close girl friends, usually fellow non girly girls, or geeky girls like myself, I still don't get on with your 'traditional' girls, and the majority of my close friends are males.

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Jovita » Sun Dec 12, 2010 12:28 am

For me it was kinda weird. When i was a kid i connected better with members of my own sex, girls. Boys were way too boisterous in my classes, plus it was expected that i'd talk to the girls. But when i was a teenager, being gay, i didn't know what to say to girls so tended be more comfortable around guys.
Weirdly all my friends are female though, and mostly always have been. I assume its because i made friends with a lot of them as a kid and they just stuck.

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Evasura » Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:59 am

hadn't seen this thread before and it is quite interesting.
I definetely get on so much better with males, and it's always been like that. I've always preferred male stereotyped games. Never liked playing with dolls, except for cutting them into pieces and play butchers (I've always wondered if that has anything to do with the term "butch" #-o ), I also liked climbing up trees and exploring. I also liked some girly games like the rope, but I didn't get on with girls at all, because they found me brute and ewhen I played ball games with them, they always ebnded up crying and excluding me because apparently I threw the ball too hard and I always hiurt them. This didn't happen with boys, as they are stronger. Not that at that time i had many male friends either, because they didn't seem to like to have a girl around them. I also don't understand girls. Guys are more direct and I don't have to try and guess double meanings. With women I seem to have to read between the lines all the time. All my friends are male and though I feel sexually atracted to women (also to some men lol :banana: ), I really feel uncomfortable around them in terms of conversation, etc. I had never linked it to dyspraxia either. I thought it was because my older sibling is male and I used to play with him rather than with my very girly younger sister
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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by abby » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:53 am

i find sex really is not important to me, i dont even register if a person is male or female, unless they are really extreme or i think about it. i find age and maturity a much more important factor.
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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Osymandus » Wed Dec 15, 2010 7:17 pm

Have to agree with abbey on this one , the nature of a personal not their gender is more defining for me .

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Evasura » Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:46 am

you're right. We shouldn't generalise. And what I said is not applicable to everyone. However, the majority of my experiences have been like that.
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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Daniel » Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:23 pm

This is a very interesting thread. I've heard generally that dyspraxics can have less of a distinct gender traits, although I'd very much like to read a study of this, if one exists. From personal experience, I've found that I've often had little or no interest in many stereotypically male pursuits and have therefore drifted towards more female friends at certain times. Many men seem to assume an automatic passion for football and I can think of few things so tedious.

I suppose you could say that my experience is that I fall outside of very many of the unusual boxes. This has often made it difficult to fall easily into social groups but now I'm older I've grown to be largely happy with own way of doing things.

Daniel

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Osymandus » Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:52 am

Daniel wrote:This is a very interesting thread. I've heard generally that dyspraxics can have less of a distinct gender traits, although I'd very much like to read a study of this, if one exists. From personal experience, I've found that I've often had little or no interest in many stereotypically male pursuits and have therefore drifted towards more female friends at certain times. Many men seem to assume an automatic passion for football and I can think of few things so tedious.

I suppose you could say that my experience is that I fall outside of very many of the unusual boxes. This has often made it difficult to fall easily into social groups but now I'm older I've grown to be largely happy with own way of doing things.

Daniel
How interesting , I've heard a similar thing . It would be very interesting to see if there is any form of study done n this ? And if its a seperation between Gender/sexual identity and or nature/nutura traits ?

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by annie49 » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:20 pm

This is very interesting.I was always tagging along after my brother when I was a child.I also hated girly clothes.When my son was a baby he had never seen me in a dress.I was going to a wedding and he kept toddling up to me and feeling my legs,which he had never seen before.I had two boys and this was never an issue,but when I had my daughter, she once said to me "You have never been feminine,ever!" I dislike fussy home decor and am quite
masculine in my interests.I suppose I could be gay without having realised it.

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Osymandus » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:47 pm

annie49 wrote:This is very interesting.I was always tagging along after my brother when I was a child.I also hated girly clothes.When my son was a baby he had never seen me in a dress.I was going to a wedding and he kept toddling up to me and feeling my legs,which he had never seen before.I had two boys and this was never an issue,but when I had my daughter, she once said to me "You have never been feminine,ever!" I dislike fussy home decor and am quite
masculine in my interests.I suppose I could be gay without having realised it.
After having 3 kid's and im guessing if your still with their father i would guess not . Unless you have a large stash of teh works of Sarah Walters and have worn out the DVD of GI Jane the training scene (or hate Shane form the L Word (oh wait thats normal)), i think you would propably know by now ;))

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by regretsandromance » Thu Feb 17, 2011 9:13 pm

i wouldnt say i dislike people of my own sex but i have always connected better with women, i sorta thought it was more to do with my relationship with my dad when i was younger, in school a lot of my friends were girls and i always had a girlfriend but lately i seem to be getting more male friends but thats also because of my current girlfriend pushing me to try haha its rewarding though, i feel like friendships with males are easier than females. but in things like driving instructors doctors stuff like that i always feel happier if its a woman.

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Re: Disliking Other People of Your Sex?

Post by Conker » Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:56 am

I dislike people as a rule of both sexes. Anyone who I can stand I make my friend.
Dyspraxia is not an excuse not to shower, it's wrong and embarrasses us who aren't dirty. Thank you.

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