Help!!! I ruined everything.....

[Little Miss Anxious]

'Hey kim my sis introduced me to her band manager Eli and months later ı grew to really like him. He took me out one time as a friend and then he wanted to be with me but ı rejected him so ı want to make it up to him and now ı do kinda fancy him and am lusting after him but ı want him to be my friend but ı think ı ruined my chances of being with him, just being with him once or a few times and also our friendship by asking him and his ex yesterday nite who he introduced me to if they are with each other.ah

Because a few times he mentiond that him and his ex are thinking about getting back together.That nite ı told his that ı wanted to know where ı stood with her ex Eli and she replied 'kinda and they laughed in embarrasment, Eli asked her to dance and that was the last ı saw of them. How can ı put things right? I want him as a friend but did ı wreck that? Help! Plz dont want to loose him. How can ı make things better? I text him an appology today. What should ı do? I like him. Im very ashamed of myself now.

[Little Miss Anxious]

Noel kissed me last february when he asked me to hang out with him even though I text him saying I wouldn't mind a kiss from a passionate stranger and later he text me saying I'll give you a passionate kiss this evening if you want, Im good at them, then I asked him what his type was and he said he just likes cool people and that I am too sheltered by my mum, I should have a life and would you like a passionate kiss from me and I said I don't know. Any way he thought I was very cool and he liked the person I am from the first time he saw me and we kissed just to see if he was a good kisser and I said the kiss was okay but that my heart has to be in it, later he attempted to kiss me a few times but failed and this time when he tried the second time he said he is really into me ut he doesn't know why.I questioned his words and resisted kissing him so he held me in his arms which I loved and he stroked my hair and my face, then in the end I was half asleep as I rested my head on his shoulder, he eventually kissed me but he said last May that he felt rejected and that he was interested in me and enjoyed my company and then I felt liked diving in for a kiss but resisted because he made no move. I saw him again a few weeks ago when my sister invited her friend him over, he spoke to me and gazed into my eyes while smiling when we were alone and looked at me several times when we were in public in my house but he called me over to his seat when we were alone by patting the seat beside him but I refused even though I wanted to but I wanted to ask him if he liked hanging out with me which he said he did. Went to his bands gig yesterday night and he seemed delighted to see me with open arms even though he is my sis friend. Later introduced me to Paula his ex who spoke about since we first met on new years eve and text me the night he kissed me that he liked the kiss but shouldn't have kissed me because he is still inlove with paula and the kiss could make things worse for him even though that night I could tell he wanted her so I didn't kiss him the way I wanted to. they seemed friendly together and this is what I asked them (ARE YOU STILL TOGETHER Or ARE YOU TOGETHER?Noel laughed, so did Paula. Paula replied: "KINDA!. WHAT DOES KINDA MEAN I ASKED, they both laughed and she asked him something then he looked at the ground in embarassment and asked her for a dance which she accepted and they left me arms around each other and me upset and envious because I fancy him, I really like him and I am attracted to him so I wanted a bit of romance with him which I won't get but I really want him as a friend and I enjoy his company and the person he is. How can I get him back even just as a mate? Is he angry with me? How can I put things right? I want him in my life.