Women

[Alex]

Sometimes i think i put off women by getting nervous or thinking i said somthing or did somthing wrong when i know i didnt as i said in a earlier post i havnt had a relationship in 3 yrs and some women find me unattractive because of my dispraxia at the moment i constantlly get messed around and hopefully i can find someone on here like myself anybody have this problem? Alex

[WTCCFan]

Sometimes i think i put off women by getting nervous or thinking i said somthing or did somthing wrong when i know i didnt as i said in a earlier post i havnt had a relationship in 3 yrs and some women find me unattractive because of my dispraxia at the moment i constantlly get messed around and hopefully i can find someone on here like myself anybody have this problem? Alex

Have no fear, WTCCFan is here.

I don't and cannot speak from experience as I have never had a g/friend before but though I don't feel in myself girls find me "unattractive" I do feel very self-concious about whether or not I have got it right (Mind, I have never actually made any kind of advance on a girl to test the water so to speak). So I can, nevertheless, entirely sympathise and feel for you.

But I honestly think, if we were being honest with ourselves, we hit on the problem in the first few words when you said "Sometimes i think i put off women by getting nervous or thinking i said somthing or did somthing wrong when i know i didnt". I don't think it is the Dyspraxia that is the issue. For some reason women do seem to demand us guys be confident which is unreasonable from the point of view that our lack of confidence doesn't make us worse people - whether or not it is a "turn off" or "turn on". In fact I would say it proves how nice we are, don't you? Can you see how nasty, cruel, vindictive, spiteful or violent people can be as unconfident and nervous around other people as we are? I don't.

My solution that I propose is just to have the courage of our convictions, go for it, and to hell with what others think about our behaviour. Is such a mentality not welcomed these-days? Is such a mentality not considered to show some strong inner character? I want to send my first Valentines card to a girl I like on my work placement but I am scared and nervous in case she reads it the wrong way. But I want to do it anyway.

Why don't you do it too?

[Alex]

absolutely 100% right i have to say never had a valinetines card and the girlfriends i did have in the past took advantage of me which i cant stand i mean i met a girl 2 weeks ago and we got on fine but i txt her and things she said she really liked me i txt her after we met and in the privous post i sent i thought i did somthing wrong i know i didnt say the wrong thing but iam sure you know what it is like to think i hope i havnt upset them yeah definately i think you should send that valintines card like you said the hell with our behaviour

[WTCCFan]

i mean i met a girl 2 weeks ago and we got on fine but i txt her and things she said she really liked me i txt her after we met and in the privous post i sent i thought i did somthing wrong i know i didnt say the wrong thing but..

Sorry Alex. I don't think I know what you said in the earlier post you refered to in your first post in this particular thread. Could you again elighten as to how exactly this girl may have "messed you around" and/or "took advantage of you"?

I think it may be important for me to know.

absolutely 100% right i have to say never had a valinetines card

It is little comfort to me to know I ain't the only one. Bit of a bummer ain't it, Valentines Day.

definately i think you should send that valintines card like you said the hell with our behaviour

Thanks. I will.

And that last bit? That's the spirit lad!!

Problem is we live in a police state y'know. People that are intend on telling us what we ought to be doing and what we shouldn't when we ought to just be free to make up our own minds. I reckon those who get told, rather than those who tell, are capable of knowing what is right and what is wrong, don't you Alex?

[Alex]

yes tragically i will have a bit of a lonely valintines day defineatly send the card mate see what happens u have nothing to loose just be careful what you put in it iam sure she will like that good luck

[Icarus]

I find I'm very good at faking confidence. Though, this does at times make me come off as being cold.

[WTCCFan]

yes tragically i will have a bit of a lonely valintines day defineatly send the card mate see what happens u have nothing to loose just be careful what you put in it iam sure she will like that good luck

I will be too - in a way. I mean the long and short of it and very much in a nutshell is that I am sending it to see if she likes me as much as I like her by seeing if she responds positively. If she does then I will have to think about what the next step could be.

I don't know if theirs any feelings on her side and therefore between both of us.

Thanks for the good luck.

I find I'm very good at faking confidence. Though, this does at times make me come off as being cold.

How do you fake confidence? I have always seen confidence as an ability to be able to face and do almost any task with great self-belief. I would find it very hard to fake that if I was faced with a task I felt I wasn't on a level to do.

And also in what way does it make you appear cold?

[Alex]

no worries best thing to do though is let her do the chasing dont rush into things hopefully she understands u r dyspraxic iam sure u will be perfect for each other let me know how it goes

[Liz944]

Lifes to short to worry about the small things.... Just send the card..... and take it fom there...

[Alex]

thats the thing i would send a card if i had a valintine unfortuatly i dont

[WTCCFan]

no worries best thing to do though is let her do the chasing dont rush into things hopefully she understands u r dyspraxic iam sure u will be perfect for each other let me know how it goes

Thanks for the concern there Alex but I honestly think that (my Dyspraxia) would matter an awful lot. She seems genuine enough.

I got the card and I must say I must be in what is a 1% because every card in the shop was a "To my Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Husband/Wife", "For the man/woman in my life" and things like that. This girl (called Gemma) who works with me as a receptionist on my placement isn't any of those yet. All she is is a girl I have come to want so much to fall in love with. So I felt I had to have one without a specific person in mind. There was only maybe one or two of those. One had lots of "I love you" words printed in it. That I felt was a bit "in your face" for my liking. But the one I did go for is a black card with a heart in the middle with a cartoon boy and girl by a coconut shy and the words "I don't want to shy away..." underneath and inside the words "from saying Happy Valentines Day". The words I put was:

"To the sweetest, kindest, warmest and lovliest girl I fancy terribly with all my heart

Lots of my fondest and most sincere love and affection

From P"

I hope they are god enough.

[Alex]

absolutely spot on my friend the very best of luck let me know how it goes iam sure she will really like that and just say that this card was left outside with your (Gemma's) name on it that way she wont know that its from you spot on words thaere mate she will love it iam sure and you never know she might have the same feelings for you again very best of luck Alex

[WTCCFan]

absolutely spot on my friend the very best of luck let me know how it goes iam sure she will really like that and just say that this card was left outside with your (Gemma's) name on it that way she wont know that its from you spot on words thaere mate she will love it iam sure and you never know she might have the same feelings for you again very best of luck Alex

Awwwww thanks Alex. If I was a girl I would easily go out with you.

I will notify you ASAP on Monday how she took it.

My only issue is if she already is in a relationship but I am just gonna have to brace myself. That is all I can do.

But I feel I have completely turned the attention from you to me and I feel kinda bad. If I was to offer you advice which plays it safe, and I am not saying take it and take it as gospel, but my advice to you would be to simply research female body language (it's not going to hurt), so if you ever meet a girl who seems to get on well with you, you would be in a better and stronger position to judge exactly what her body language is saying and approach her when her body language is right. Most people would say the usual - just see her as often as you can and get to know her. But I would add compliment too. Say nice things. I have experiences loads of times where I have said nice sweet things and she liked it.

[Alex]

iam speaking to a girl at the moment on msn she is in a relationship but i think she likes me yh u will b fine mate just do the best you can if she has a boyfriend dont panic its the thought that counts if she doesnt go for it you can like you say read their body language if they want you you will know about it yes mate please let me know probs the best thing is do it tommrow so its not two days after valintines day again good luck

[WTCCFan]

iam speaking to a girl at the moment on msn she is in a relationship but i think she likes me yh u will b fine mate just do the best you can if she has a boyfriend dont panic its the thought that counts if she doesnt go for it you can like you say read their body language if they want you you will know about it yes mate please let me know probs the best thing is do it tommrow so its not two days after valintines day again good luck

I managed to get in on the front-desk without her noticing (she wasn't at it - the desk I mean).

Late this afternoon my main colleague who I work with the most had made a friendly passing comment like "who has got a crush on Gemma?!" (cannot remember word for word what she said - she may have said exacly that but I cannot be sure). I simply smiled and said something like "I don't know what you mean!". So Gemma looks to have told my main colleague about my card. After the class in emailing I went upstairs to work on a poster for a course in cross-stitch. I work in that room with atleast 3 older blonde women called Kim, Natalia and Denise - Susan does't work Wednesday's, Thursday's and Fridays. I overheard Natalia (a really nice and friendly white South African-born woman and the woman who took me under her wing when I first arrived on a voluntary basis) and though I cannot be 100% sure of what she said, she said something which contained words which talked about her being with a boyfriend.

I felt a little deflated but she still seems friendly with me enough so we clearly still seem to have maintained a cordial working relationship which goes a way to being some consollation for me. I have just emailed my colleague who I work most with and was it seems told of who the card was from to ask if she is indeed in a relationship. I am a little scared about the answer but we are still good colleagues so I don't suppose it will be that hard for me to take.

As it happens I have another two lives left; two other girls I like. One works with me and my colleague on Friday afternoons taking a class in emailing and the other is in admin at the training course that I am on and who took my voluntary work with my local Age Concern office and made it a work placement. I will have to work out my next move but I just pray at th moment that one of them that holds the key to my success.