Basic requirements whe looking for love

[Cheetarah]

1) are kind and thoughtful
2) are understanding of differences, and don't expect everyone to act like clones!
3) have "gentleman" like manners ( open doors, don't fart or belch just for fun, see their dates to their frontdoor, don't
pressurerise their dates/girlfriends for anything they are not ready for)
4) see family and friends as more important than their "career"
5) are supportive of their girlfriend/partners aspirations, and see them as just as important as their own
6) are open minded, to some extent at least, but do not have any weird perversions
7) don't like cricket, golf or other boring spectator sports
8) share the tv remote fairly
9) are willing to help with household chores

I'm finding this very interesting as many here seem to have a particular dyspraxic(?) way of thinking that reflects my own .

Kind, thoughtful and open minded would be top of my list any day. I value tolerance highly in others and try to cultivate it in myself. In that way experience of social rejection in the past is turned into a positive, something to be proud of I'd say. Cat27, in your list you show that you value respect in 3 and 5. In 4 you show you have a sense of what the real priorities are in your life and they aren't the superficial ones. Plenty of people want it all in a partner- stunning looks, high flying career etc. but you don't specify any of those things.

I used to believe myself so ineligible that I ought to settle for anyone that comes my way. I didn't think it possible for someone you had feelings for to feel the same for you from the beginning. I'd go out with people who were nice enough but didn't feel chemistry for them- there was no physical and emotional connection. Then one of these people broke up with me when we mutually confessed it just wasn't going anywhere. We remet a year later and became best friends! We would never have been partners for long, couldn't have fallen in love but I had found someone so kind, genuine and special. I could never fake feelings for someone again. It isn't fair on the other person, it's done out of poor self esteem and you could hurt hem. To value kindness and thoughtfulness is to wait for someone you truly love.

[WTCCFan]

value tolerance highly in others...

So do I. But rarely do you get it back.

I used to believe myself so ineligible that I ought to settle for anyone that comes my way.

I guess I have my reasons for thinking that - and I am happy that way. Because certain "special people" I think have such weird rules regarding what you can and cannot do that it makes you think if they think they are too good for you and that they treat you with contempt.

A woman I am fond of - though don't have a crush on - doesn't like me touching her (like on the shoulder once) because she reckons I am invading her space and therefore that makes her "uncomfortable". Also you just don't do that in work with another colleague. I find this rule especially that certain girls are uncomfortable with you touching them at work but in a night club they are more than happy for you to flirt like hell with them odd to say the least. What changes you? I would have thought we are the same person 24/7. Why is it OK for you to flirt like hell with them in a nightclub or a pub but you cannot go within a thousand miles of them at work?

The people who folk would regard as "anyone" tend to be more willing and happy to have you as ther b/friend because they themselves are also desperate for love.

It can work cheetarah.

[Cheetarah]

value tolerance highly in others...

So do I. But rarely do you get it back.

I used to believe myself so ineligible that I ought to settle for anyone that comes my way.

I guess I have my reasons for thinking that - and I am happy that way. Because certain "special people" I think have such weird rules regarding what you can and cannot do that it makes you think if they think they are too good for you and that they treat you with contempt.

A woman I am fond of - though don't have a crush on - doesn't like me touching her (like on the shoulder once) because she reckons I am invading her space and therefore that makes her "uncomfortable". Also you just don't do that in work with another colleague. I find this rule especially that certain girls are uncomfortable with you touching them at work but in a night club they are more than happy for you to flirt like hell with them odd to say the least. What changes you? I would have thought we are the same person 24/7. Why is it OK for you to flirt like hell with them in a nightclub or a pub but you cannot go within a thousand miles of them at work?

The people who folk would regard as "anyone" tend to be more willing and happy to have you as ther b/friend because they themselves are also desperate for love.

It can work cheetarah.

WTCC fan there will be someone out there who not only accepts you but likes and appreciates you just for being the person you are. Not one else will be able to make her happy the way you do.

Yes there are many confusing rules of human behaviour but none of us are perfect and something I noticed recently from looking around is there are plenty of people without very good social skills or tact who manage to find wonderful partners. Their main tools are simply confidence and the ability to come out of themselves, which we all have. They make mistakes all the time but the person who is attracted to them on first meeting forgives them. I should know, I've been attracted to such a person!

A lot of rules confuse me as well, but as a woman you may not want to be flirted with in the workplace because you want to be recognised for your ability and concentrate on the job but a club is a place people go specifically to flirt and be seen. It's just about certain uses for certain places. It might just be that the woman you liked only saw you as a platonic friend too. Somebody else out there will see you as more than a friend, that's for sure and you'll have a physical and emotional connection with her such as you can't just have with 'anyone'. You truly deserve a whole lot more than you seem to want.