Issues with parents.

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Rob_m
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Issues with parents.

Post by Rob_m »

I'm new here so please forgive me if I do/say anything wrong.

I recently started college, and was flagged as possibly being Dyspraxic. Further testing has said that there is a strong possibility I am, though I am awaiting a full diagnostic due to covid.
My parents continue to deny that there is a possibility, as I can catch a ball and I can use an airbrush. Due to their experiences as teachers with other students ho do have these issues, they don't belive I could be.
Additionally, I have raised the possibility I may be autistic, as my support tutor asked if I had been tested due to my behaviour. My parents considdered getting me tested when I was younger but didn't in case I built my identity around it.

My writing has been referred to as a drunken spider, and it tends to be very samll. I appear to hae issues with other actions involving my wrists, such as using motion controls to steer in games such as mario cart, and have some isssues hitting some shots in badminton,to give some examples. I tend to be messy and disorganised wherever I go, and I have a habit of knocking things over, but not as much as some others I live with.

Could someone give me some guidance around this?
Tom fod
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Re: Issues with parents.

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Rob

Welcome, it can be like treading on egg shells and we dyspraxics can yo yo from being overly direct and blunt, to being afraid to speak in case it comes out wrong!
From what you've said here, you do seem to have some traits. Regrettably many people have rather a narrow view of what people with Dyspraxia (or other Neuro Diverse (or Divergent) conditions can or cannot do. In many ways such societal attitudes are a very big part of the difficulties we face. Labels can regrettably be a hindrance but they can also help us come to terms with and understand why we struggle with certain things. We look for our own ways rather than being defeated, demoralised and beaten down! Some are affected more severely and/or are not supported to achieve their potential and surpass their own and others' expectations of this potential. The Label should not be a barrier it helps us understand ourselves and we should not be ashamed of it.

It's a difficult condition to assess and we can be very good at finding coping strategies to mask our condition and make the task of assessing us difficult.
A lot of dyspraxic traits overlap with those of other NeuroDiversity conditions so it can depend which professional you see and where as to which diagnosis (or diagnoses) you receive.

Incidentally I don't much like the use of diagnosis (for want of a better word). To too many is is synonymous with it being a disease or disorder. Others would of course disagree from their own standpoint/perspective! In the ten years since I've found this forum/started interacting with other dyspraxic folk I've met, I've encountered many successful dyspraxics doing jobs that many would consider off-limits to our kind!

Feel free to ask any further questions you might have and do invite your parents to have a look too.

Is ". . . but not as much as some others I live with." a reference to (a) family member(s)?


All the best
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Rob_m
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Re: Issues with parents.

Post by Rob_m »

Forgive me.
As part of my course, I am staying in accommodation away from my parents and with other students. A few of those students are/possibly are dyslexic, and they tend to bump into or drop things more than I do when we socialise with each other.
Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Issues with parents.

Post by Tom fod »

Rob

Forgiveness granted, not that there's anything you've said or deliberately left out to intentionally mislead me.

Although very much distinct from Dyspraxia, Dyslexia is more than simply difficulty with reading and or spelling. Same as Dyspraxia is more complex than stereotypical being clumsy, having poor handwriting no good at catching etc. Some Dyslexics are also Dyspraxic or have some shared traits and vice versa. Your housemates might just be boisterous clumsy and/or just generally destructive?

You can be considered to be dyspraxic/have tendencies without ticking everything on the checklist. We don't necessarily conform to all of the stereotypes, all of the time!

Dyspraxia while not proven as genetic does seem to run in families, hence the question, given your parents' denial of the possibility.

What are your feelings on the possibility of your being dyspraxic? The Label does not define your whole self and peoples notion of what you can/cannot do well because of the label shouldn't hold you back. We are very often highly creative and very determined folk. We need to be. I think the most useful thing I've learned is to be more patient with and kinder to myself

Back in 2010/11 the news and possibility did not sit well with myself so learning about Dyspraxia was something of an emotional rollercoaster.

Hope my rambling makes some sense.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
jolinemelina
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Re: Issues with parents.

Post by jolinemelina »

Working moms and dads know juggling parenting and professional responsibilities is a delicate balancing act on the best days. Throw in a few complicated but inevitable family emergencies and it becomes even trickier.
Missing your child concerts or denying them to have one.You’re going to have guilt as a working parent, the key is managing it and keeping [it] in check.
Tom fod
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Re: Issues with parents.

Post by Tom fod »

jolinemelina wrote: Sat Apr 03, 2021 8:43 am Working moms and dads know juggling parenting and professional responsibilities is a delicate balancing act on the best days. Throw in a few complicated but inevitable family emergencies and it becomes even trickier.
Missing your child concerts or denying them to have one.You’re going to have guilt as a working parent, the key is managing it and keeping [it] in check.
Joline
How is this relevant to the original question posted?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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