Connecting

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

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Desert Rose
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Connecting

Postby Desert Rose » Sun Nov 12, 2017 3:19 pm

One of the things I noticed in my life is that I really struggle to get to know people, lacking the confidence to break the ice, I feel that I seldom actually connect with people and get past the pleasantries. This doesn't particularly bother me though as I feel more comfortable around fewer people, that and I'm more likely to get to know less judgemental and more open minded people. Does anyone else experience this lack of confidence with communicating and connecting with people?

Maximus12
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Re: Connecting

Postby Maximus12 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:11 am

Oh yeah, all the time. I haven't any real close friends because I find it difficult to communicate with people generally. I find a lot of people complain, often about other people and I can't feign interest in what are usually self-made or unimportant problems.

Desert Rose
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Re: Connecting

Postby Desert Rose » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:44 am

Maximus12 wrote:Oh yeah, all the time. I haven't any real close friends because I find it difficult to communicate with people generally. I find a lot of people complain, often about other people and I can't feign interest in what are usually self-made or unimportant problems.


It's quite hard to describe isn't it? I just don't feel that there's any mutual understanding with people most of the time, I feel judged or too anxious and just back out of it.

Asides from that, I usually want to talk about matters that other people don't, I like to talk about fairly deep thijngs.

Tom fod
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Re: Connecting

Postby Tom fod » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:27 pm

Do feel free to initiate some general discussioms in the Lounge area here or if they're Dyspraxia focussed in an appropriate topiic category.

I do find I'm not really into small talk, gossip or celeb-based tittle tattle.

I do think it's easy to overlook the fact we are respected and even admired by some people, due to our sometimes poor levels of self esteem.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
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Poppy91
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Re: Connecting

Postby Poppy91 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:01 pm

Desert Rose wrote:One of the things I noticed in my life is that I really struggle to get to know people, lacking the confidence to break the ice, I feel that I seldom actually connect with people and get past the pleasantries. This doesn't particularly bother me though as I feel more comfortable around fewer people, that and I'm more likely to get to know less judgemental and more open minded people. Does anyone else experience this lack of confidence with communicating and connecting with people?


I feel exactly the same. I have been friends with a couple of groups and they always seem to become close and then there's me. I also always want to chat about things that a lot of people I meet aren't interested in.. 'deep' topics are my favourite! Always thought at some point I would meet more people on the same wave length as me :(

Desert Rose
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Re: Connecting

Postby Desert Rose » Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:15 pm

Poppy91 wrote:
Desert Rose wrote:One of the things I noticed in my life is that I really struggle to get to know people, lacking the confidence to break the ice, I feel that I seldom actually connect with people and get past the pleasantries. This doesn't particularly bother me though as I feel more comfortable around fewer people, that and I'm more likely to get to know less judgemental and more open minded people. Does anyone else experience this lack of confidence with communicating and connecting with people?


I feel exactly the same. I have been friends with a couple of groups and they always seem to become close and then there's me. I also always want to chat about things that a lot of people I meet aren't interested in.. 'deep' topics are my favourite! Always thought at some point I would meet more people on the same wave length as me :(


Sounds all too familiar.

I only really have a few friends but I feel absoltely blessed to have them because we can talk endlessly about things that matter to us, and we really have a mutual understanding. I may have very few friends but they are very close to me, and sometimes I feel that they are all I need. I've stopped worrying about people I don't connect with as those relationships aren't beneficial to me, they have only made me horrendously anxious.

Dan
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Re: Connecting

Postby Dan » Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:14 am

This forum is interesting, as more and more, I discover the camaraderie us Dyspraxics share as personality quirks. I am definitely similar in that I feel more comfortable around fewer people, being absolutely terrified when performing on stage, case in point: https://youtu.be/zx1cmaz1OMA

Still, it doesn't bother me on the whole, although I do get quite lonely, especially recently. :c

Desert Rose
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Re: Connecting

Postby Desert Rose » Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:28 am

Dan wrote:This forum is interesting, as more and more, I discover the camaraderie us Dyspraxics share as personality quirks. I am definitely similar in that I feel more comfortable around fewer people, being absolutely terrified when performing on stage, case in point: https://youtu.be/zx1cmaz1OMA

Still, it doesn't bother me on the whole, although I do get quite lonely, especially recently. :c


People notice me withdrawing when I'm surrounded by more than a few people, I just get too anxious.

Dan
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Re: Connecting

Postby Dan » Sun Dec 03, 2017 12:16 am

I met a friend online who has high functioning autism and we get on really well. I am actually being assessed for Asperger's and ADHD-PI in February as a result of meeting her - she was just diagnosed and she is one year older than me (she's 27), so it does not seem unlikely that the signs were simply missed in me.

My language development was highly unusual, for example; I came out with words at the usual age, and then went quiet for a few months, before suddenly coming out with full sentences - It's curious, at the very least!

I think this is the primary reason that I struggle to connect - my body language is either non-existent or highly exaggerated, and I often interpret others' body language incorrectly - this leads me to withdraw somewhat too.

Davie232
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Re: Connecting

Postby Davie232 » Sun Jan 07, 2018 11:25 pm

I often avoid connecting with people at work, when I'm on my break. Because I dislike talking to people because of my slight speech problems.

If people are wanting a conversation with me, I will give them one. Because I dislike being rude about 80% of the time.

I have low self-esteem and if I mess up my words, I often go quiet and wish for the other person to stop talking.

Jenny3142
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Re: Connecting

Postby Jenny3142 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:41 am

Tom fod wrote:I do find I'm not really into small talk, gossip or celeb-based tittle tattle.

Bane of my life. I hate small talk. The other day someone from work was asking how my Christmas break was etc and what I got up to etc. What he really wanted to ask me is if I knew something about a particular system. (which I didn´t). I would much prefer if people just ask their questions so I can get back to what I´m doing.
I find it very weird when my co-worker constantly wanders off and starts talking to other people for up to an hour. I have no clue how someone can make small talk for that length of time.


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